Flowers to my Spanish Speaking Mother

“We have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time!” This is one of the famous lines from the Selena movie that has stuck with me through the years. 

As it was recently Selena Quintanilla’s birthday on April 16th and having Karol G give a beautiful ode to the late singer at Coachella, I’m reminded of Selena and what she stood for as a Mexican American stuck between two worlds. 

One of the biggest scale ratings of Hispanic-ness is the level and accent of your Spanish. I am personally grateful I grew up in a Spanish speaking household as my mom and multiple family members only speaks Spanish. So, when I go to México, I get the mix of your Spanish is so good for a Mexican from America or your accent is a tell of you being American. 

I love being present in Spanish-speaking countries because it aids my proficiency in the language, but above all, boosts my confidence. Personally, I’ve noticed that my confidence level fuels my flow when speaking en español. I feel a bit proud for my mom because she’s the main reason I have kept up my Spanish.

When I was growing up and needed help with my homework, my mom, with a partial middle school education, would get so sad because she couldn’t help me with my homework. But when it came to my Spanish reading, she was my biggest asset.  

So, every time I talk in Spanish, it’s for myself on learning and growing, it’s a shoutout to my mom, and it’s a way of staying grounded to my roots. Especially when I’m in México, I love speaking in Spanish. Even if I get called out to correct a word or two.

Now this is my experience of the language of my people. However, not only everyone has a positive story. Mexican American stories also come in assimilation of the American life to avoid hatred and ridicule. Mexican Americans may lack or have an emptiness of culture representation in the household for a multitude of reasons. They’re still Mexican. And if they’re reconnecting to the culture and are in the process of enhancing their Spanish, so be it.

Also, let’s not forget about our dismantling representation of indigenous tongue. I give love to the individuals and communities that continue to keep the voices of our ancestors alive.  

To conclude, let’s remember it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.  And we’re not all necessarily on the same route. Spanish is a form of me staying in tune with my family and traditions. It is not the only way to reconnect. And don’t push anyone in the process of learning or enhancing their native tongue as an adult.

Those struggles of translating Parent Teacher conferences and doctor appointments are moments I appreciate today, a chicane finding her way closer to her culture every day. Flowers to my mom for being present in my Mexicana journey.